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IF YOU ARE READING THIS, I WILL ASSUME YOU KNOW I AM A MOTHER OF THREE.
Additionally, if you follow me on the world of Instagram, you know my kids and I LIVE at the sands.
If i like you, add me there at: tynieka
And y'all, Canon is so handsome, it hurts.
I HAVE BEEN THINKING A LOT LATELY...
'Now, we know how prevalent technology has become in this era.
We also know that with a few clicks on a laptop, tablet, or cell-- kids can access world wide wonder of things that we were not exposed to as children.
There are parental controls, sure, but if you're a teacher, you know kids even get around the district's filtering to see whatever they want to get their hands on.
I have had a few moments lately (and a while back) that have led me to believe I want to speak much more freely with my children than my mother spoke to me as a child and young teen.
A FEW RANDOM THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN ON THE BRAIN LATELY...
'Now, we know how prevalent technology has become in this era.
We also know that with a few clicks on a laptop, tablet, or cell-- kids can access world wide wonder of things that we were not exposed to as children.
There are parental controls, sure, but if you're a teacher, you know kids even get around the district's filtering to see whatever they want to get their hands on.
I have had a few moments lately (and a while back) that have led me to believe I want to speak much more freely with my children than my mother spoke to me as a child and young teen.
A FEW RANDOM THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN ON THE BRAIN
If you are not easily offended (IF SEXUAL GRAPHICS MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE, SKIP THIS STEP), go to google and type "sex gif" or click here.
AND THAT IT JUST GOOGLE IMAGES.
So imagine what else can be found with clicking around?
Yes, in my house it is myself, Jizelle (8), Presley (4), and Canon (3).
Combined we have a disgusting amount of technology.
(4 iPhones, 4 iPads, 1 MacBook).
I have NO parental controls set.
Anyways...
And for the ones who think their kids would never Google sex, you are mistaken.
And certainly for the ones who think their kids don't have friends that will pull it up on their device to share with a pal, you are wrong again.
TODAY AT WALMART... A THING HAPPENED.
We were there looking for new beach toys.
(By the way, I have done a new thing when I take the kids out for toys [which is every time we enter Walmart, Walgreens, Kmart, or Target] I have begun setting a $20 combined price limit on them and they have to choose accordingly.
Anyways, we'd already started picking things and Canon freaks out for a ten pack of random balls (for some sport unknown to me).
I definitely was not going to pay $15 for 10 balls (that he would certainly lose and likely break one of my windows with).
My response to him begging for the balls was...
"Canon, those are just balls. The beach toys are cooler."
Now where my mind was blown.
Jizzy responded with...
"Mom, you just said, 'just balls...'"
Naturally, I didn't know what to say as she giggled at the idea of balls, or nuts, or testicles...
And ironically enough, I giggled too, because I was not expecting it and her giggles of the words "balls." It was a little humorous, I cannot deny.
Plot twist, y'all.
MY SOLUTION WAS NOT TO CUT HER ASS.
In all honesty, if Jizzy is 8 and entering 3rd grade and knows what balls are, and I never told her this, then somebody else did.
And even though she is only 8, maybe it's time for the "talk."
Because I am a tough cookie and work with high schoolers and know how much they are exposed to... do I want to tell Jizzy these things, or do I want her cousins, step siblings, or peers under the playground at recess informing her that indeed her little brother's "Leener" is actually a "dick" or "balls."
The misinformation that can be transferred if I ignore that my 8 year old knows what balls are, ya know?
And sure, it's just balls.
But I would have much rather preferred that I was the one to tell her what balls were.
And when I think about it, I openly communicate with her on so many other topics, it won't be the end of my universe to have the talk of human reproduction with her.
FOR EXAMPLE, I WEAR SOME SUPER CHEEKY (OR THONG) BATHING SUITS....
Today, before we went to the sands, as I was walking around in my bathing suit (ass out, yes) I asked Jizelle a question.
I said, "Jizzy, is my bathing suit appropriate for me to wear to the beach, because, you know I am a mom?"
Her response was so unbothered.
She said, "Mom, I've seen your butt before and everybody has a butt."
It was that simple. A butt was just a butt.
AND YES, JIZELLE TOOK THE PICTURE TO THE LEFT, AND SAID "YOU LOOK PRETTY IN ALL OF THEM MOM, YOU'RE ALWAYS PRETTY."
I posted on Facebook asking how old my friends were when they had the sex education course in school.
The grades ranged from 5th grade to 9th grade.
That's quite the age gap. I'd say about ages 10-14.
I was in 7th grade at Robert Smalls Middle School.
I was 11.
My teacher was named Ms. Rachael.
REMEMBER MORE FROM BASKETBALL PRACTICE THAN SEX ED.
If I am being specific, I remember the pictures they showed us of scary STDs.
I literally had a college degree (two, my BA and MED) before I took the time to literally sit down and thoroughly read about sex.
That being said, I was pregnant at 17 and delivered Jizzy a month after I was 18.
There was abortions in the "lost years."
I had Presley.
I then had Canon.
I then had a miscarriage,
And finally I was like yooooo, I need to read about this whole reproduction thing. I am fertile. I have gotten pregnant on the shot (twice).
My mother can attest to taking me to the appointments and having me up to date on the shots.
When I was 25 and getting Mirena, I was told I am one of the rare women who ovulate numerous times per month. Crazy, huh?
Anyways, I am now rambling.
I WANT MY KIDS TO TELL ME EVERYTHING.
And if everything means my daughter laughing hysterically on the beach toy aisle at the new Lady's Island Walmart, then so be it.
IF YOU HAVE NOT BEEN TO THE LI WALMART, GO. IT IS EVERYTHING.
Because before today, I didn't know she knew what balls were.
(A different story, once my BFF Taylor referred to a man as "a dick" and Jizelle said, "I know what that is.")
Therefore, this is now twice that she has dropped the hint that she has some predisposed knowledge of dicks and balls.
It may be time (even at age 8) that she gets the real conversation of the birds and the bees.
I KNOW WE ALL DO NOT THINK THE SAME ON THIS. I KNOW WE DO NOT ALL AGREE ON THIS. THAT IS OKAY. I RESPECT YOUR OPINION WHOLEHEARTEDLY,
BECAUSE THAT WAS MY VERY OPINION JUST YESTERDAY.
One thing I do know, is I am a grand secret keeper.
My sweet, sweet friends and students always spill the beans to me.
I am not sure why, but people trust telling me things that they need to talk about.
It is not uncomfortable when it is a friend or a student, so why on this universe would I act like Jizelle speaking to me about balls is the worst thing?
SO WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I NOT BEGIN POLISHING THIS RELATIONSHIP WITH MY OWN CHILD AT AGE 8?
Thats right, I will.
"The Talk" will happen tomorrow, and I am looking forward to it being done and over.
XoXo.
Love, Hugs, and a Billion Kisses.
Cheers, Ty Snowden
P.S. HOMIES...
Build trust with your kids. I tell Jizelle "secrets" and make her swear to not tell anybody. She is 8. She knows that my ex-boyfriend wasn't loyal. She knows I fell out of love with her Diddy (PJ). She knows I go on "friend dates" now that I am single.
She has never told a soul. She thinks she is the only person on this universe who knows. What a sweet thing.
Therefore, she tells me about her crushes (She only likes black boys) and how her day was bad because she discovered that her crush has a crush who is not her. Or tells me that I just said... "balls."
And over and out, literally, fr fr, now.
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