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Self Care, Smelf Scare: It's Hard Outchea!

Updated: Apr 18, 2020

I'm sitting here at the keyboard and don't quite know what it is I am attempting to convey. I have "homework" from my therapist to produce a list of what self care looks like for me.

And I must admit, the term self care just irks me a bit, but at the same time I know it is such an essential part of happy and healthy living.

When she asked me during our last session what self care looks like for me, I said reading and writing. Which then almost sounds like work or school, right? So I explained further reading for pleasure, not work. And as for writing that would be blogging.

I suppose I could have added content creation to the list since I've been throwing together curly hair tutorials since about May now.

But then, I realize, I only started my most recent reading and content creation kick after the miscarriage in May. So is it self care or a distraction. Or better yet-- is there even a difference?

Self care is hyped up on social media in memes and on mom blogs as a must for moms, but what even is it?

By definition, self care is,"he practice of taking an active role in protecting one's own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress."

So, was I stressed after the miscarriage, sure. Was I attempting to distract and alleviate that stress by reading, writing, and video creation-- I guess, right?

Hell, I feel like drinking my morning coffee Downtown Beaufort by the water can count as self care then.

Keeping busy with preserving your wellbeing and happiness is important year round-- not simply when stress strikes. Which is most likely why so many of us struggle with self care routines and habits. Naturally, when things are tough, that's when we look for a fix it or self care plan to revitalize and bring us that snap back after life brings us down.

Kids driving you crazy. Fighting with your spouse over the same things. School work piling up. Your boss is an ass hole.

Ah, self care to the rescue, yo!

But imagine if we remained consistent with this self care even when things are going our way.

Are your kids being super sweeties and even throwing in an extra hand to keep the house clean over summer break?

Still focus on your self care.

Is your significant other seeming to really hear what you've been asking of them and making progress?

Still focus on your self care.

4.0 GPA and not a damn thang to worry about in the books?

Still focus on your self care.

Is work pleasant and your bills are paid? A.M.E.N. God is good, but...

Still focus on your self care.

Ha! And I am sitting here telling you guys that as my therapist is telling me to work more on my self care, how is that Ty? You aren't a counselor just because your therapist gave you advice! Hell ty, you're in therapy, you must got some shit going on yourself.

Of course, we all have things going on.

What I simply want to pass from me to you though, we are all important.

With all the hats you wear-- parent, spouse, significant other, employee, business owner, side hustler, daughter, son, sister, brother, cousin, friend.

You need to make sure you are good and well taken care of to be able to give those you love the same energy back.

So what does self care look like for you.

What the hell makes you feel good.

What brings the twinkle back into your galaxies?

That's what you need to do, every week, hell-- everyday if you need it.


For me self care is:

1. Reading novels: I have a super good list you can shop on using my Amazon storefront linked here! I knocked out about 5 novels from that selection from May to now! They are easy and good reads. My two favorite had to be Where the Crawdads Sing and Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstances.

2. Writing: be it blogging or poetry-- but I've been struggling with writing much of anything for months.

3. Content Creation: My curly videos and current hair health/growth/natural journey has been occupying a lot of my time-- especially since May. It has been my crutch of keeping busy after the miscarriage and summer break blues that I can get after I start feeling dormant without a work routine.

4. Coffee and a view: I'm pretty sure the folks at Common Ground get sick of seeing me. Shout out to my favorite influencer Carolineeeeeee from GC!

5. Laying in bed after cleaning: What but that includes cleaning-- but for me there is something SO therapeutic about laying in my bed, with my fuzzzzzy blanket, in a spotless room, with the blinds open. OMG. It may trump my favorites of these 5 things.

6. Toes in the water, ass in the sand: I love soaking up the sun at the Sands and Hunting Island. I literally can plop my chair on the shoreline and sit for hours. No phone. Don't even have to read, really. Just sitting with my feet in the water and staring.


Do what you need to do for you, and do that shit at an unapologetic rate!


Hugs, Love, and Lots of Kisses.


Ty Snowden


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